Time to enjoy life and do what you love!

Jaha, nu är det sommarlov igen! Alla har åkt till sina sommarställen i tur ordning, och här är lilla jag hemma i gamla sköna esbo.
Men det känns väldigt tomt och ensamt utan alla djur som är i hangö med mamma och pappa :( Fast okej jag har ju min håriga björn, Robban här hemma!
Nu börjar min säsong för idiotiska idéer... Igen... Har en ny plan att skaffa smiley piercing och ska sikta in på att skaffa den imorrn! Iiiiik! :D jättenervös! Ska ta en update på mina "dumma idéer " för er nån dag :) altså piercingar, tatueringar, hår färg osv! Promise!
Nåja, vad annat är nytt?
Skulle kunna döda för att jobba med djur den här sommarn.. Tänkte ta kontakt med min gudmor/halv moster, om idéen att få ta hand om hennes golden under dagarna. Då hennes man är på jobb och hon har svårt att ta ut Cindy på långa promenader pga hälsoproblem... Hoppas de inte är på landet annars skiter min plan sig haha :D

I don't know what to say

Once again I burned myself by touching boiling water.  I'm getting tired of even trying anymore, I'm confused, disappointed and sick of ending up where I started. I guess im stuck inside an evil circle of trusting people too easily. I believe I 

Insane

I'll never be able to move out, away from my parents. I feel a need to get away from them. But their defense if that as long as I'm in school I can't move out. When I sai that I take the school at 3,5 or 4 years, my mom lost it. "you're already a year after!" all I said was; "I didn't know there was an expiration date.."
With that said, I was of course now seen as childish and immature.
So I won't be moving out of the house before I'm 20-21 years. My sister was 19... But if I want to move, I have to make my own money and pay the rent myself. None of my siblings had to do that. But my parents know how to play the game. Since I can't speak fluently Finnish, and live in Finland, I won't get a job.
No Finnish= No job= No apartment...
I'm going crazy here...

Random crap

Me and my dog, Mikki. This is a very random photo, I'm bored.

Who are you?

So about 3 moths ago my bestfriend at the time moved to Sweden. She thought that she'd stay there for a year, but things didn't work out like she thought they would've. The day before she left, I told her "I know we're going to loose contact with each other. And she told me that we wouldn't. But fess what happened. We lost the contact even though I tried my best to maintain it. She just didn't seem interested. So I stopped. Suddenly I got to hear from a friend of of mine that she's coming back. I got mixed feelings like anger, confusion but mostly I felt hurt. Hurt that she didn't want me, her former bestfriend to know that she was coming back. So the first day of school she came crawling back to me. Somehow even though I didn't want anything to do with her, I kind of forgave her. We're still not best friends. I checked Facebook a minute ago and she had uploaded some photos of her posing so called "sexy-ish" infront of the camera with 5 pounds of makeup and white trash clothes. I have no idea what she's doing, I don't think she knows either... I believe this moment is going to become one of those "omg why did I do that when I was young. How embarrassing" moments when she's grown up. I just don't want her to be the caged animal in the zoo (talking about school)... Well like a Swedish saying ; the one who makes the bed, may lie down."

I don't get it.

Okay so my parents are pissed at me once again for some kind of reason I do not understand. My mom suddenly started to pms, I didn't know she could still have it. But anyway, all of a sudden she started screaming at me that my room is "disgusting" and she won't tolerate it any longer. I who cleaned my room the other day, didn't understand what she was talking about. Usually if she thinks my room is starting to get messy, she'd just ask me to clean it, not shout at me. But today she did. So without arguing I started to clean the smallest "disgusting mess" I've ever seen. It took me 20 min and now my room is spotless. I thought her pms moment was over, buuuut it wasn't. Then she started nagging again about my school schedule. That she wants it in order so that she could wake me up every morning (she doesn't trust me that I can do it myself). But for the first time ever I wanted to be grown up and be able to wake up by myself, once in a while, I'm 18 after all. So I said "I dont like the thought that you know my whole school day. When I start, when I got free period, when I get from school, and so on. That's when she looses it. She insists in giving her the little piece of paper. Then I said "mom, I'm 18. I want to be able to take care about my own school" that's the part she calls me immature and unresponsible. So the next thing I know I'd that she goes upstairs and tells everything to the boss in the family (my dad). She over exaggerate like always and tells him how rude I was and how immature I am. So he comes down and gives me a lecture in how he don't give a damn if im 18 or not. Personally I don't care about my age either. Dad said that as long as I live in his house I should do exactly what he says, and expects nothing less. I'd love to move out any second but since my parents has forbidden me to work while studying, I wouldn't be able to pay rent. My sister is 27 years old and she's unemployed and has 2 dogs and lives in a huge apartment, but moms little girl should have everything in the world. So I guess I just love my family (rough sarcasm). I don't know how long I can stand it here anymore. I need to get out of this house ASAP. I already visit a psychologist because of all drama in this house. This is one of the small things that drives me mad...


Times change, I guess.

Seasons change and we're getting into autumn once again. But I don't mind since it's not too warm and not too cold. This is the moment I realize that time has actually changed during this whole school year. Last year I was winded up in a new school with new people, but now- everything is like before. The school is full of people I know, and some I find pretty repulsive. But some are dear. Some came back after the summer and some left for good. But how could I call myself a teenager if there wouldn't be any drama in my life. I'm 18 for God's sake, not a middleaged woman sitting in her appartment with 83 cats and only training her thumbs by changing the channel. That would be awful btw. But back to the subject: a teenagers peroblems. Since I've been single for about 72 hours now, I feel relieved but somehow... empty and awkward. I imagined that I would take the world by storm and find someone exciting and new the same day! But I winded up, once again by the computer and waist my time and energy at some lame serie. Don't get me wrong I love my show, but whenever I do watch it, I end up feeling more lonely and depressed. Is there someone out there who could lay the world before my feet and say "go on! I'll be right behind you" or does that only exsist in lame grandma movies- and my head?  911, anyone?
 
 
 

Get weird or stay weird. Weird is awesome.

Den här bloggen är till för de som vill läsa om mitt liv. Alla mina tankar, känslor och upplevelser. Jag har bloggat i flera år och bytt blogg om och om igen, så nu har jag bestämt mig att stanna här ett tag! Enjoy P.S! Ta mig med en nypa salt.

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