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I don't know what to say

Once again I burned myself by touching boiling water.  I'm getting tired of even trying anymore, I'm confused, disappointed and sick of ending up where I started. I guess im stuck inside an evil circle of trusting people too easily. I believe I 

What is life about?

I've had up and down hills before but today when I saw your face I got back all the feelings of being betrayed and let down. Everything was my fault and I don't know if I can live with that guilt. To me, you are dead but sometimes you come back to life in my mind. I hate you, so much that words can't describe it. Today you asked how I am. I didn't even bother to fake a smile, but I told you I'm fine. I'm not. The overpowering feeling of hate you gave me destroys all love and affection and sense of trust in me, and it fucking kills me. I've tried to move on and it worked for a while, thank you for ruining my recovery. I know that you don't deserve my time of hating you, I deserve better, everyone does except for you. You don't deserve anything. You think that the world is for your benefit, but it's not.

Don't you just love it when....

Don't you just love it when you get love letters from some english middleaged man on facebook? Don't you just love it when you have a busdriver-stalker in the middle of the night, asking who you are and know where you should get off...
 
 
No, just no

love to see you go

So we got to know that my sister got accepted to a school in Sweden! I'm happy for her, mosly happy to see her go but somehow I'll miss our fights but mostly her dogs... Oh well maybe she'll grow up a little while she's there?

Confused

More drama! Who doesn't like drama?
So it has been a week since I met X and I have no idea what I should do... Last time, things didn't go as planned, it never does... But I though he might had been a bit interested but, interested in what? He says that is not that kind of guy who only wants one thing (of course he says that). But I have gotten proof that he only takes interest when the moment is hot... I want someone to share moments with, and I'm pretty sure he's not the one. I still don't regret beoming single again, just saying. It feels like I have a second option, but I can't remember who that would be...? Not a good sign... Aah! Sometimes being a teenager make want to grow up.

Summer is gone and I'm living on hopes and dreams

So like every year school starts once again and I'm back behind my desk, suffering from tiredness and boredome. Trying to listen to the distant sound of what my teacher is trying to say, while I'm in some kind of bubble and thinking of something totally different. Something much more interesting than about some president in a country I hardly know that exsists. In some ways  everything has changed like I wrote a couple of days ago, but I just realized that not only time but important people in my life has changed too. My bestfriend was suppose to move away for a year but she ended up coming back, without telling me while a couple of friends of mine did. An onther important friend of mine suddenly thought that I had been talking behind her back, which I haven't. She now refuses to talk to me. I am left here pretty much alone in this world all confused and with mixed feelings. I can only thank God that I have found my absolute soul sister. She's amazing and it's creepy how alike we think. I always have a good time when I'm with her. We are just as crazy.
 
Line and I. Line, I'm sorry but you look extremly hot in this pic... xD
 
P.S Welcome to a teenager's indescribable problems

Who am I?

Den frågan kan inte ens jag riktigt svara på... Eftersom jag knappt vet själv. När jag tänker på "Antonia" så kommer jag bara och tänka på en tjej som för tillfället har rött hår, gröna konstiga ögon, och blek som fan. Eller så komer jag och tänka på vad folk brukar säga om mig. "En trevlig, utåtriktad, och glad tjej som inte är snäll på orden." Men är jag egentligen det? Eller borde jag bli belönad med en Oscar för "världens bästa skådis"? Men en sak vet jag - jag älskar att skriva. Att få bli av med ilska, lycklighet, frustration eller någon annan känsla. Det är varför jag skapade denhär bloggen för att få skriva av mig, men på ett eventuellt smått roande sätt.
 
Oh! BTW! här är ett foto på mig. And yes, I got a tattoo.
 

Get weird or stay weird. Weird is awesome.

Den här bloggen är till för de som vill läsa om mitt liv. Alla mina tankar, känslor och upplevelser. Jag har bloggat i flera år och bytt blogg om och om igen, så nu har jag bestämt mig att stanna här ett tag! Enjoy P.S! Ta mig med en nypa salt.

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