Insane

I'll never be able to move out, away from my parents. I feel a need to get away from them. But their defense if that as long as I'm in school I can't move out. When I sai that I take the school at 3,5 or 4 years, my mom lost it. "you're already a year after!" all I said was; "I didn't know there was an expiration date.."
With that said, I was of course now seen as childish and immature.
So I won't be moving out of the house before I'm 20-21 years. My sister was 19... But if I want to move, I have to make my own money and pay the rent myself. None of my siblings had to do that. But my parents know how to play the game. Since I can't speak fluently Finnish, and live in Finland, I won't get a job.
No Finnish= No job= No apartment...
I'm going crazy here...

What is life about?

I've had up and down hills before but today when I saw your face I got back all the feelings of being betrayed and let down. Everything was my fault and I don't know if I can live with that guilt. To me, you are dead but sometimes you come back to life in my mind. I hate you, so much that words can't describe it. Today you asked how I am. I didn't even bother to fake a smile, but I told you I'm fine. I'm not. The overpowering feeling of hate you gave me destroys all love and affection and sense of trust in me, and it fucking kills me. I've tried to move on and it worked for a while, thank you for ruining my recovery. I know that you don't deserve my time of hating you, I deserve better, everyone does except for you. You don't deserve anything. You think that the world is for your benefit, but it's not.

Don't you just love it when....

Don't you just love it when you get love letters from some english middleaged man on facebook? Don't you just love it when you have a busdriver-stalker in the middle of the night, asking who you are and know where you should get off...
 
 
No, just no

Get weird or stay weird. Weird is awesome.

Den här bloggen är till för de som vill läsa om mitt liv. Alla mina tankar, känslor och upplevelser. Jag har bloggat i flera år och bytt blogg om och om igen, så nu har jag bestämt mig att stanna här ett tag! Enjoy P.S! Ta mig med en nypa salt.

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